October282009
A proposition to the female population on Halloween:
Women, come on.
As member of your society, I have watched in confusion and shame each Halloween as a majority you take the holiday as an opportunity to “slut it up.”
Ladies, please.
This year, instead of being a sexy Santa, a slutacious school teacher or just a Whore, do yourselves and the whole female population a favor and put some more thought into your costume. Perhaps even more material.
Hey, here’s a idea. Instead of being that Slutty Bee this holiday, be A Regular Bee. A Regular Bee who is also the President of a successful non-profit and a four time winner of the pulitzer prize.
Why be a Shipwreck Pirate Vixen when you could be The Successful Pirate Captain who led a pack of pirates through tumultuous waters during a storm, while wearing clothes.
Did you know that the Pants Wearing Nurse With Comfortable Shoes can withstand long work hours and demanding patients far better than Sexy Nurse? And she probably has more chance of a promotion?
And guess what, Slutty French Maid, while you’re off feathering stuff while bending (is there anything else you can do?), Responsible Housecleaner with Greater Ambitions is working on her professional degree online and has a bright future beyond cleaning houses. Soon she will be Responsible Real Estate Agent Who Herself Owns Property.
As much as I like Halloween, it’s yet another* day of the year when I feel detached from my fellow female population. I guess I liked to be respected for a creative costume rather than oggled and dry-humped by strangers at parties.
Men, on the other hand, TAKE YO PANTS OFF.
*Other days include Presidents Day and June 12th
I’m not sure how Moujan got so smart. Persian food? Anyway, here’s to all the single Halloween ladies this Saturday. Shoulda put a ring on it… now we’re collecting Pulitzers.
